Kate Hardy has a scheme to alphaise her heroes. In her blog, she points out some of the common failings of some alpha heroes. Flauts laid at their feet, damning them. And I do have to admit that if I ever met a hero who called the heroine a little fool, I would not warm to him. Some people do like pride comes before a fall heroes. There has to be more than that for me.
Alpha doesn't mean arrogant. Alpha means self confident. Alphas do like to protect and defend those closest to them. They demand respect, and do not give their own respect easily. But once you gain the admiration and trust of an Alpha, you are going to have it for a long time.
There are many degrees of aphas. Some exhibit unhealthy behavior -- see Tony Soprano for instance. Totally alpha, but totally repulsive. If you have ever watched The Sopranos (and I just finished series five and so am in withdrawal) you will see that his wife,Carmella, is in her own way equally strong. She is not a doormat. In fact, she is an alpha as well. She is used to getting her own way. I have found their relationship fascinating to watch.
Alphas are strong personalities. They are very protective of their inner core and dislike exposing their flaws. They also dislike having to depend on anyone else. Strength is important to them.
I like alphas. I tend to think that my heroes are alphas. There again, they have to be men I could respect. Before they can be heroes to anyone else, my heroes have to be there for me. I have to fall in love with them. And I know only an alpha that I can only create an alpha if I going to love him, I can not make him alpha for anyone else.Se;f-confident? Sure of his power? Yes, but not arrogantly so. He has to be my fantasy after all.