Wednesday, August 20, 2014

Did I raise my daughter to be a feminist?

This morning the Times had an article on how to raise your daughter to be a feminist.
As my daughter is 21, it is perhaps too late. There again as she just her BSc  in Geography (2.1) and is about to do a Masters in Rivers Environmental management plus nearly slotted her grandfather when he suggested that she might make some man a good wife (my father in law is of a certain generation and I often have to  rise above, darling, rise above), I believe she is a feminist. For the record, she also likes to bake and seems to prefer short skirts (too short for my dh's taste but then he is her father...) to trousers and inhales romance novels.
In short, she is a Modern woman who refuses to be defined by narrow stereo types. Hopefully some day she will decide to make an honest man out of a man who adores the ground she walks on, but it is her choice (as she keeps telling me and I am not supposed to hold my breath for grandchildren).
She is also between two brothers. She says you can tell who has brothers and who doesn't. And she doesn't take many prisoners as she knows what brothers can be like.
My sons are  for the most part polite and I like to think treat women in a courteous and considerate manner. There are times that they are MEN. (And it is hard when despite your best efforts, genetics take over and your sons become MEN)  Thankfully they have decided not to share their doings with the rowing club or the kayaking club. I don't friend them on Facebook as well I prefer to think of them as not being MEN but nice, polite humans.
But  I did realise when a woman becomes a mother, she wants her children to succeed -- whether or not they are of the same sex as her. When you become a mother of boys, you discover that boys just like different things.  You want to push all your children (I do have tiger mother tendencies at times).  But it is important to treat your children like people. And I think everyone has a mind and a mind is terrible thing to waste. And I do hate it that journalists feel they comment on how many times Angela Merkel wears a jacket but not how many times David Cameron wears the same suit.  But hopefully as the generations grow, it will become a more equitable place.
So did I raise my daughter to be a feminist? No, I raised her to be a person. There is a subtle difference.


Helena said...

Men can be feminists too! So you could have raised all three of your children to be feminists, and I suspect you did if you consider the definition of a feminist. (I haven't read the newspaper article, but I do question its title as being appropriate or helpful.)

Michelle Styles said...

Yes I know men can be as well. The article was mainly focused on raising daughters and bemoaning about lurid pink etc.
Sometimes you have to wonder who commissions the articles...