As I was asked:
Reactive means passive or reacting to something else rather than seeking to change your life.
Inciting incident is the thing that starts the story.
In my current mess in progress, the heroine agrees to do something for her brother. Her sole reason for encountering the hero has to do with her brother. And she is on the back foot the entire time. She is constantly running to stay in place, rather than making changes. Given a choice, she chooses the wrong one. The brother dominates rather than complicates.
But it was really the reactive inciting incident that sets the tone of the story.
The heroine who is supposed to be bossy or as my daughter's mug used to say -- I am not bossy, I just have better ideas is never given a chance to show her better ideas.
Anyway, it is a massive revision job and involves a new beginning and ending with quite a bit of tweaking in the middle. I do think I have an idea on how to go about it though.
One of these bright days, I am going to produce something that really sings! (Of course then I will worry that I have gotten it totally wrong!)