Yesterday, I managed to sort out my father in law getting into respite care. As a carer, I am entitled to a week's holiday a year. I contacted Social Services a while ago and we have now jumped through the requisite hoops and it is a go!
My father in law continues to get frailer. He has given up on his daily walks, preferring instead to tend his flower pots. He times his tending so that the postman is due to arrive and often has a few seconds of chat. It is a shame because when he used to go out for his walks, he would encounter other people. And although I have offered to take him to various meetings etc, he always refuses. Once I had arranged everything so he could go to the Retired Men's Club but he apparently sat up most of the night worrying so that ended that. Going to a care home will force him to interact. I do worry about him becoming a shut in and mostly only talking to me! But you can't force people.
And he had to be gently guided to admit that yes he does need help. He sometimes forgets the little practical things that are done for him -- such as his towel being put pout every morning, his clothes being washed, his meals prepared etc etc. So the man from the SS and I went through it and we detailed everything. It was the first time I heard my fil admit that he knew he couldn't cope with his old house and had no idea what to do. Last year when it was being sold, I was treated to the *I just don't want to sell* speech many times. It had to be sold to fund my mil's care and my fil can't live on his own.
I made the point that it is only respite care. He is coming back. The SS get v nervous as they often think it is code for -- we want him in a care home permanently. But after doing all the hopes, the answer is yes, he can go for respite.
Anyway, it feels like a victory. And I felt that someone was on my side for a bit.
And my daughter will be looking after the house and animals -- recovering from her dissertation.
Central Spain beckons in a few weeks time.